Lazy Blogger Par Excellence

Whoops I'm letting this drop off. We cannot allow that to happen. No.

Note on the below draft - The dramatic end of 'who gives a fuck'... please read this under the terms of the outlined context, a script for performance. Looking at it transposed here as a blog it seems dreadfully nihilistic. It wouldn't in the original of course, I'd carry on to wax lyrical about various other things and all dispassionate wretched flourishes would be glossed over with a thick gooey layer of... well happy lyricism I suppose.

As heard on shameless - you just have to stand up there and be a bastard.

So what's going on in the world today? I have no idea, again. Ok wait a tic I'm going to the guardian website where I promise to read one article.

Ok I'm back. I'm not writing about current events today, even if it is more accessible, even if I could demonstrate my own witty slant while remaining relevant to things that you might have recently been considering. I'll do that later.

Instead, as usual, I will ramble on about my idiosyncrasies and what I think they mean...

Let's try, for example, waking up. Have you ever suffered from depression? I think I have, though it is difficult to realize when you are locked in it's cloying grip. A hallmark of this for me is finding it difficult to wake up and face the day. Why? Because it sometimes seemed like there was nothing worth doing. Note the past tense - here comes the positive bent.

I blame the organizational side of my brain (by the way, I resent the Americanized spell check on here... all these words coming up with a red line beneath as though it is spelt wrong... I can't stand that bloody line. No one likes to be corrected when they are right and if you are anything like me this is all the time. Anyway, I defer to it because although I resent it indicating I should Americanize every word I hate the red squiggle more. Although I only will defer about changing S's to Z's. Not omitting U's. God no. That'd be a step far too far.)

Shit where was I? Well perhaps it proves a point. Don't allow the organizational side of your brain to get lazy. I managed to fool it into getting up for a less compelling reason than the sheer exciting possibility of life's gaping yaw, for a while... in that salt of the earth postie way, where you get to enjoy the sun rising on the way to work and scoff contempt on the once a week occasion when the Friday weekend spills into Saturday morning... I didn't find myself wishing it were me looking a state amongst the seagull-pecked trash spilling across the pavement, the town, the world... Just a little arrogant self-congratulation on the way to work helped the day go round. Though in a way it was fun talking to pill-heads who were flabbergasted at the premise you had just got up. But not drunks. No. Yuck.

I love tangents.

Anyway, yes it was slimly satisfied by getting up for my job and I enjoyed the early mornings once I'd bolted myself firmly into hyperactive reality with five coffees, or as I say if it were summer and the sun were rising majestically (etc) in the blue sky. But it didn't address the root of the problem - worthy activity is what was needed. Being a postman was never going to satisfy me forever, much as I enjoyed it for it's multitude of merits.

So now I'm cracking it. Worthwhile plans for the day, not too grand, ease yourself in. This blog is part of that, when the mood takes, and the mood takes quite well if I start the day with a book rather than the internet or the Jeremy Kyle show.

Rambling Blog For The Day - Achieved. Excellent. On to the other stuff. You too, go on. Off you go. Turn your mind to the worthwhile - if it all seems to much simplify, work out the path of least resistance and ease yourself in. Train that lazy organizational side of your brain into life.

You know why it's been so tricky? Because if you start with a lazy left brain (which not everyone does of course... ah how I envy and aspire to your efficiency and success...) then you are left with a situation where the right-hand brain, the creative, is supposed to be in charge of sorting it out. What's more they are at odds - right-hand brain has an idea, lazy left-brain says 'nah, fuck that for a lark' in it's best dissolute attitude and most persuasive gutteral Brighton drawl.

The right-hand brain, really being more of an ideas type, not known for rigidity and insistence, responds: 'oh ok, good idea, lets think about bobbins for two hours, pick our nose and maybe have a nap.'

Tut. But here we are and I've outlined the plan, again largely speaking to myself but I may as well lend it to whatever posterity accounts for barely read rambling blogs.

Off you go then, think of something else to do and finish that project for once before starting a new one, for heaven's sake.